Have A Laugh Fridays – Great Golf Jokes!
I was debating what I would post for Have A Laugh Fridays this week, and received this as an email yesterday! I think it is a sign that spring is in the air, and the golf clubs will be dusted off soon for all of us that endure long, harsh winters.
Sales and business professionals take a lot of heat for all the golfing that we “apparently do”, so I thought some golf jokes were a great tie in for some laughs this week!
Remember, if you have any videos, pictures, or jokes that you think would be worthy of Have A Laugh Fridays, send me an email at:
Have a great weekend!
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.
Author Unknown
I don’t say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they’d come up sliced.
Author Unknown
I’ve spent most of my life golfing. The rest I’ve just wasted.
Author Unknown
They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.
Raymond Floyd
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.
Pete Dye (His golf courses reflect this belief!!!)
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
Jim Bishop
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Hank Aaron
Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
Paul Harvey
Give me golf clubs, fresh air & a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Jack Benny
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
Al Boliska
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
Billy Graham
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
Ben Hogan
Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end.
Chuck Hogan
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
Jack Lemmon
It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
Harry Vardon
Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
Woodrow Wilson
A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible.
Author Unknown
Gone golfin’ … be back about dark thirty.
Author Unknown
Born to golf. Forced to work.
Author Unknown
My body is here, but my mind has already teed off .
Author Unknown
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
Jimmy DeMaret
May thy ball lie in green pastures …. and not in still waters.
Author Unknown
If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.
Author Unknown
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.
George Deukmejian
Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of bagpipes. Author Unknown
The Five Star 5 – Sales Leaders
I love lists. I love countdowns. It started with me listening to the “Top 10 at 10” songs on a local AM radio station as a kid, and eventually a variation was born called the “Top 6 at 6”. From there, countdowns seemed to be all over the place. There were tv shows in the 1980’s that counted down the top music videos of the week, and eventually sports shows counted down the best plays of the day, week and eventually year.
When I started to get involved with social media and conducted research on the internet, I realized that lists were prominent there too. I saw one problem. Many of the lists were 10, 25, 50 or even 100 items long! I had no issue with that until I realized that I always got distracted and never finished the lists.
So I felt the need to chime in on the “list phenomenon”, but with my own twist. It will be called,
“The Five Star 5”
I will include my favourites from a specific category, but each list will only be 5 entries long. The difficult part of course is narrowing down some decisions to 5, but that is the beauty of the short, concise list. I want each list to be impactful, short and sweet.
These were the first five people that I followed in the sales space, and I am sure glad that I did. If you are following them already, fantastic! If not, consider this a solid recommendation and follow them at once!
I will note their Twitter names and websites as points of reference:
Paul Castain – Your Sales Playbook; @PaulCastain
Dan Waldschmidt – Edgy Conversations; @DanWaldo
S. Anthony Iannarino – The Sales Blog; @Iannarino
Kelley Robertson – Fearless Selling; @FearlessSelling
Mark Hunter – The Sales Hunter; @TheSalesHunter
Enjoy this list. These guys are awesome!
My Toastmasters Speech – Don’t Let Setbacks Change The Incredible You
In March of 2012, I entered the annual club contest for my Toastmasters Public Speaking group. It was a great experience, and I was runner up to a very worthy contestant. I actually had the presentation recorded that night, but “technical difficulties” prevented me from uploading it. I enjoyed the experience, and wanted to share it with you. So I recreated it from the comfort of my own home the next day.
We have all been through bumps in the roads in our lives, and the key to personal and professional success is how we fight through each setback, to still become who we really want to be.
Jeffrey Gitomer Video – Positive Mental Attitude
It is easy to overlook our attitude and assume that we are as positive as we need to be. I came across this very popular Jeffrey Gitomer video recently and it provided me with some great insight. I hope it does the same for you. Take 5 minutes for a quick “attitude check”!
Have A Laugh Fridays – (Song) You are My Prospect
Doug Grady is the President of High Achievers Network, and a musician to boot! I stumbled across his work searching for content to be included in Have A Laugh Fridays. I had a laugh when I heard the parody of this popular tune as it relates to sales. Admit it, you remember this song too!
Have A Laugh Fridays – Sales Are Up?
Great sales results are always a reason to celebrate! See why this party should not be happening! Check out this quick 30 commercial in my latest edition of “Have A Laugh Fridays”
My First YouTube Video – An Introduction
It was certainly a leap of faith finally getting in front of the video camera after managing my stuttering issue for many years, but I am sure glad I did. The sky is the limit now! Here is my introductory video for Sell Lead, Succeed!
Sell, Lead, Succeed! 